What does it mean to "love your neighbor"?

The "Golden Rule" is a catchy saying that is thrown around everywhere you look. But do we really get what it means?

“ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Mark 12:29-31

Amidst racial upheaval, a global pandemic, political unrest, and a culture that is increasing hostile towards Christian values, it is essential that the church present a united front. Against the powers of evil that seek to destroy the earth, we are called to “Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace” (Eph. 6:14-15). The church is the body of Christ, the bastion of truth, an army to fight for the Kingdom of Heaven.

So why on every side do I see church leaders acquiescing to the demands of the culture?

The heart of the problem lies in a twisting of the greatest commandment. As the church is faced with increasingly difficult decisions, on every side the world throws in its face the command from our Savior to “love your neighbor.” We are told we must march for Black Lives Matter, use a person’s preferred pronouns, advocate for social justice, apologize for Scriptural authority, all for the sake of “loving our neighbor.” After all, love is love, right? The interesting thing is, the definition of that love always seems to be whatever the neighbor wants it to be.

Is that really what Christ meant by the Second Greatest Commandment? No, it’s not. The problem is, we have forgotten what comes right before the Golden Rule: The First Greatest Commandment: “To love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.”

In the midst of the constant barrage of guilt from the culture demanding Christians acquiesce to their desire for the sake of “love,” no one seems to be asking why we love our neighbor.

Because there is a wrong answer.

In the Christian life, everything, and I mean everything is done for the glory of God. When you become a Christian, the first, most important theological truth that you must acknowledge is 1. There is a God, and 2. I’m not Him. This worldview shift causes each Christian now to do everything, to say everything, to desire everything, for the sake of God. It is a God-centered worldview.

What does this have to do with loving our neighbor?

What this worldview shift means is that the first and second greatest commandments are not really two separate commandments. Instead, loving our neighbor the way Christ commanded us to must succeed loving God.

Often in current Christian literature there is a repeated emphasis on social justice, on the fact that One cannot love God without loving neighbor.[1] While this may be true, I believe there is a better way to word this.

One cannot love neighbor without loving God. In fact, this is one of the most fundamental truths of Christianity. Without a complete and total love of God, a submission to His Lordship and authority, an understanding that He and only He has the right to determine what real love looks like, we cannot, and I repeat, cannot love our neighbor. There may be many things that we can attempt to do that may look like love, many aspects of living that we may define as love, but ultimately, we are using our own definition, placing ourselves in the seat of judgment, and may in fact be harming our neighbor rather than helping.

It is essential, before emphasizing the necessity of loving our neighbor, to know what love is. Here is an example of a definition of love that is common in today’s society:

“It is always the right time to “love God with all of our hearts, and with all of our souls, and with all of our minds, and our neighbors as ourselves.” (Matthew 22: 37 & 39) As we seek to be faithful to Jesus’ two ‘Great Commandments,’ we celebrate human diversity and all persons as children of God. Our church adamantly and enthusiastically welcomes persons of all ages, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender identities (the entire LGBQT community), family configuration, economic conditions, marital status, and mental or physical abilities to attend, join and participate fully in the life of our congregation. We celebrate “Open hearts. Open minds. Open doors.” We have time for you, and there is a place for you.”

(Sewickley United Methodist Church in Sewickley, PA)[2]

Each of these assertions, are making a statement about the definition of love. For the gay rights activists, love is advocating for their sexual orientation and lifestyle. For the Black Lives Matter protesters, love is being an antiracist. For the social justice warriors, love is fighting the rich for the sake of the poor.

Most all of those who use this phrase are asserting a partial truth. After all, we are called to love our neighbors, no matter what. But love, being a verb, necessitates a specific description of the action. We need to back up and ask ourselves the question: what does love really look like?

1. God’s love starts with a recognition of our need for grace. For a Christian, before we look at love of neighbor, we must look at love from God and for God. “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19. In that relationship, we see ourselves as the ones who are in need of redemption and forgiveness. We are unable to love on our own accord: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

What this means is that turning a blind eye to sin is not loving. Leaving out the part of the gospel that makes you uncomfortable is not loving. Supporting ideologies or movements that participate in or advocate for sin is not loving. That would be like God saying, “you’re just fine, and I love you anyway,” and watching us remain imprisoned in evil.

2. God’s love sacrifices to rescue the sinner from the grip of sin. Not only does God’s love recognize that we are broken sinners who have rebelled against Him, but God’s love sees our need for redemption and loves us anyway: “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8.

As Christians, we are to love the same way. Not in ignoring that the sin exists, not by advocating for the sin, nor by participating in a particular political group or march. We love by recognizing sin and evil for what it is and working to rescue broken people from its grip by pointing them back to the very One who rescued us.

Here are some uncomfortable truths that Scripture requires we acknowledge:

Homosexuality is a sin (Lev. 18:22, 20:13, 1 Cor. 6:9, Rom. 1:26-27, 1 Tim. 1:10, Jude 1:7)

There are only two genders (Gen. 1:27, Deut. 22:5, Rom. 1:18-32)

Abortion is murder (Psalm 139:13-16, Exodus 20:13, Hosea 13:16, Isaiah 57:4-5)

The only solution to racism is Christ (Eph. 2:14-16, Gal. 3:28, Rev. 7:9)

Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation (John 14:6, Acts 4:12, 1 Tim. 2:5, John 3:16-18)

If we are to truly love our neighbor, we cannot ignore these sins, the condemnations of our culture. Scripture is quite clear: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

So what can we do? Fall more in love with God every day. Keep your eyes fixed on the One who authored the very idea of love. Submit to His Word as one who has been brought from death to life by the power of God. Identify sin where it exists in your life as well as your neighbor’s, and seek to free others from the grip of that sin by pointing them toward Christ. As Jon Bloom, an author on Desiring God puts it, “The most loving thing we can do for others is love God more than we love them. For if we love God most, we will love others best.”[3]

[1] Gutierrez, Gustavo & Paul Farmer. In the Company of the Poor. Orbis Books: Maryknoll, New York, 2013. Print. [2] https://www.sewickleyumc.org/our-church#our-church-1 [3] Bloom, Jon. “If We Love God Most, We Will Love Others Best.” Desiringgod.org. 2016. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/if-we-love-god-most-we-will-love-others-best