Are preferred pronouns really loving?
- wisedove
- Apr 15, 2022
- 4 min read
How Christians can best love our transgender neighbors.
One of the most common accusations raised against those who oppose transgenderism is the statistic of the very high numbers of suicides among the transgender population. According to a study done by the NIH in 2016, the rate of suicides among transgender persons range from 32% to 50%. This is significantly over the national average suicide rate, which is closer to 0.013%. What causes these enormous rates of suicide among transgender individuals?
In the estimation of those who promote LGBTQ ideology, the fault lies with those who refuse to affirm the transgender person’s desire to transition, those who force the unwilling individual into the society’s constructed ideas of gender. The disapproval and even abuse of those around them causes the transgender person to become mentally anguished, leading to suicidal thoughts and actions.
While the inability to fit into the molded roles of society may cause the transgender person anxiety, I believe the rates of suicide belie a far greater hurt, one that we are exacerbating rather than diminishing when we affirm a person’s gender transition.
In her book, Love Thy Body, Nancy Pearcey argues that transgender ideology results from a worldview which emphasizes a mind/body split. Rather than identifying a person as a union of mind and body, the transgender crowd places an overly stringent emphasis on a person’s mind as their true self. Thus, trans individuals see their identities as distinct from and at war with their physical attributes. She writes,
"The body has become a morally neutral piece of matter that can be manipulated for whatever purposes the self may impose on it--like pressing a mold into clay or stamping Lincoln's profile on a copper penny....Christians ought to weep for people so confused about their identity—people who have absorbed a Darwinian view of nature as having no purpose or moral significance; who think their body is just a piece of matter that gives no clues about who they are as persons; who think their identity as male or female has no special dignity or meaning; who view their body negatively as a limitation on their authentic identity.”[1]
By affirming a teenager’s desire to transition into the sex that is opposite to their body, not merely their genitalia but even down to their DNA, we affirm their dysphoria. Even by the smallest act such as using someone’s preferred pronouns, we affirm the lie that their true self is not the ensouled-body union created in the image of God. They were not made for a purpose, both physically and spiritually. The message that we impart is that those struggling with transgenderism are inherently wrong. Their “true selves” (their mind, which is telling them that they are the opposite gender) must constantly be at war with nature, with the physical manifestation of their created purpose.
How can that possibly be the most loving action?
It is clear to me that those who are waking up every day to this inner turmoil, the conflict within oneself that urges a person to make war against their body, would absolutely lead to a sense of deep depression and lack of meaning in one’s life. A culture which tells its young people that they must literally mutilate their bodies in order to gain happiness is a culture in which death appears a happy alternative.
Rather than teach our young people that their spirit is superior to the body and that they must force the physical into compliance with every whim of the mind, Christians have an incredible opportunity to affirm each human being’s entire personhood.
A culture which tells its young people that they must literally mutilate their bodies in order to gain happiness is a culture in which death appears a happy alternative.
We believe that every human being was made in the image of God, as a soul within a body. Both the soul and the body are essential aspects to the created being, and both reflect the intricate purpose and intention of their creation.[2]
We also believe that humanity is fallen. This means that the inherent desires of our hearts are always contrary to the will of God. It means that our mind is NOT the one that knows best for us. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”[3]
What does this mean for the transgender person? We are commanded, “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” As you struggle, submit yourself to God’s good plan. Understand that he made you as you are, both soul and body, for a purpose. He knows you more intimately than you know yourself, he sees your inmost thoughts and desires, and he loves you. He didn’t make a mistake when he made you. Trust that whatever the world tells you, it is perfectly fine for a man to be relational and a woman to be competitive. You were still made a man or a woman for a purpose. God knows better for you than anyone else ever can or will.
Both the soul and the body are essential aspects to the created being, and both reflect the intricate purpose and intention of their creation.
As Christians, we must not conform to the world’s message towards those struggling with transgenderism. The worldview of those who promote the transgender ideology is completely contrary to the biblical narrative both of God’s original intended purpose for His creation and of the inherent sinfulness of the human heart.
The more compassionate way, the more affirming way, is not to use a person’s preferred pronouns. The more compassionate way is to come along side trans individuals in grace and show them that they were made a man or a woman on purpose, and they must live into God’s will for their life, not their own. We are all broken sinners desperately in need of grace, and God is not afraid of your deepest and most difficult struggles.
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